2018 wasn’t a big year for me, and that’s okay.

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking recently. Critical thinking. Criticizing myself and comparing my achievements to those who I love and surround myself with. To be honest, they don’t fare well – and I’ve finally been able to admit to myself that that’s okay. From traveling the world, to getting married and having children, my friends are doing it all and for a while now, I’ve felt like I’ve been left behind in the dust. My year started off with no direction. Lost and aimlessly reaching for something to hold onto, I returned to my backbreaking warehouse job – until I could figure out who I am and what my place in this world may be. Working this job taught me how to squash my ego and that nothing is beneath me. After spending months flinging ice cream around in a freezer, I came to one conclusion: this isn’t me. I walked off the job and drove straight to Parkside to register for school in the fall to finish my bachelors. I still didn’t know what I wanted in life, but I knew what the alternative was if I didn’t figure it out. Finishing up the end of my first semester back with the highest GPA I’ve had since my first semester 5 years ago, I’m starting to shake the rust off and find some footing. I may not know exactly where I’m heading this year, but after reflecting on a mundane year, I know what direction I want to go. I want to take a moment to show some love and appreciation to those who are closest to me (you all know who you are). You all inspire me to do better and prove to myself – and you, that we’re all in this together on this crazy train called life.

2019 is going to be about living unapologetically me, and I dare you to get in my way.

How do we all find out what our passions will be? Luck? Born into it? Inspiration? In my case: lack of choice.

Senior year in high school and I must come up with my schedule. I was only one English class away from freedom, alas, it was a full year course and that left me with 6 open slots. Gym; Check. Cooking; Check. Four left to go… ART! I hadn’t taken any art classes up until this point, and I needed something to fill my schedule. Photo 1, photo 2, ceramics and printmaking; check.

Fast forward a few weeks as we finally get settled into the classes and I get to go on my first shoot. Pentax K1000 in hand, I was ready. My first shot (coincidentally one of my favorites), a vintage-looking converse shoe. Tack sharp, perfectly exposed, nicely composed. I was hooked. The rest of the roll ended up being compositional crap, but this shot really kept me encouraged to keep shooting. After my first darkroom session; I was in love.

Over the course of the next few months, I spent hours upon hours learning everything that I could about photography. Tutorials, lens/body reviews, techniques, you name it, I studied it. Photography to me was an escape. The darkroom was my refuge from the struggles that a teenage high schooler would encounter.

So engulfed in passion for photography, I went out and bought a Nikon D3100 with a 18-55mm kit lens, along with a 55-200mm to pair it with. The perfect beginner lens combo. I spent the entire night trying everything under the sun, from botched attempts at light painting, to multiple exposures; reversing my lenses to get macro shots and nearly setting my back yard on fire with steel wool.

Once I had hit college, I had unfortunately had to put my photography passions aside to focus on schoolwork and trying to discover myself as a person. Fast forward to (what would be my senior year in college) now, and I’ve dropped out of school twice, my passion for photography, and self-employment has risen to an all-time high. I’ve worked with a couple of individuals, and couples to start off my career and build a small portfolio to start moving forward with my embark on self-employment.

My current plans and aspirations are to create and develop a fully functional, and relevant website. Start posting at least once a week and to create a consistent fan-base. By the end of 2019 I would like to have a 5000 user following on my Instagram and 5-10 thousand monthly views on my website. I would like to become fiscally independent from any work outside of my photography by 2022, and by 2025 I would like to have a fully functional, independent studio.

All in all, we all have our own ways of discovering our passions, mine just happened to be by lack of other options, and I could not have asked for a better introduction into the beautiful world of photography.